The Week In Words
It’s Friday and we all know what that means – reading silly quotes while pretending to work!
”And I hope for the sake of a once mighty – and mighty important – department of state, Mr Duncan Smith is invited to spend more time with his novels.” Liam Byrne unveils Labour’s latest plan to combat unemployment; the summary firing of conservative ministers.
”Unemployed young people will participate in an army boot camp ”- So say Australian ministers – as solutions go; this one seems a bit on the extreme side. What about conscientious objectors?
“The manifestation and consequences of youth unemployment are known to all of us. The poor cannot sleep because he is hungry. The rich cannot also sleep because the poor is awake. So, how do we get out of this situation,” – Former Ogun State Commissioner for Information and Orientation, Sina Kawonise – sleeping tablets and food, perhaps?
“African economies must not be allowed to be run and dictated by imported goods and services. We fail to create jobs this way, but we all know that a job is the only thing that dignifies a person,”- Chief Executive of Rlg Communications, Roland Agambire issues a rallying call to indigenous industry.
“Youth unemployment has been a problem for a long time in this country, which is why I started the Youth Contract. We clearly have more work to do, but I am not going to turn my back on the young unemployed just because this is proving to be difficult.” – Nick Clegg – the “strongman” of the UK’s fight against youth employment repeats David Cameron’s pre-approved words.
“Our view is that it is possible to incentivise firms to hire younger people, while protecting the existing work force and addressing unemployment,”- South Africa’s Reserve Bank Governor Gill Marcus on how to tackle South Africa’s 50% rate of youth unemployment. Where will the money
“Our unemployment figures would be significantly higher were it not for youth emigration – hardly a point of honour for this current administration,” – Mark Fielding, chief executive of Irish Small and Medium Enterprises exposes the superficiality of official figures. A revolt among statisticians ensues … unfortunately we have no data on how this uprising is unfolding.
“Japan’s neighbours in Asia, and the international community, have to heighten their vigilance over the direction of Japan’s development”. Chinese foreign ministry spokesman Hong Lei
“This election has been a huge farce,” Morgan Tsvangirai, with the ludicrous opinion that a Zimbabwean election could be plagued by irregularities.
“With the changes that come about with the result of climate change we’re concerned dengue will continue to spread.” – Dr Colin Tukuitonga. Just when we thought things couldn’t get any worse.
“It’s hugely important that we decarbonise transport. We have been up hill and down dale on biofuels in the past few years. What we need to do is distinguish between good biofuels and bad biofuels” – Norman Baker, the Liberal Democrat transport minister. What are the criteria Norman?
“Higher costs, exploration charges, adverse currency exchange rate effects and challenges in Nigeria have hit our bottom line. These results were undermined by a number of factors – but they were clearly disappointing for Shell,” – Shell’s outgoing chief executive, Peter Voser, explains why he is outgoing – profits were down to a measly $4.6bn – why, you could barely buy a small island nation
“I don’t believe anyone involved in the military coup,” Mohamed Soudan, a senior official from the Muslim Brotherhood’s political wing, the Freedom and Justice Party. That would mean the army
“Over the last 50 years 80% of the corals have been lost due mainly coastal development and pollution. They now are also threatened by invasive species, global warming and the early effects of ocean acidification — it’s the perfect storm.” Richard Vevers on the myriad threats posed to the Caribbean’s coral reefs. Although, I must challenge him about the “perfect storm” part; unless of course you classify George Clooney as an invasive species. Point taken Richard!
“The fact is there is a close intelligence relationship between the UK and US and a number of other countries including Australia and Canada.” – A senior security source in Whitehall reveals that Australian and Canada are spying on us as well.
“I think the programme will end as we have eliminated most of the threat and continue to eliminate it.” – John Kerry, US secretary of state, foresees the end of the drone campaign in Pakistan.