The Week in Words

 In News

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A strange, strange week, especially if you listen to these guys!

“In fact, some people ask, ‘What keeps you awake at night, with regard to this economy?’ I say it is the issue of job creation.” Nigerian Minister of Finance, Dr. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, reveals that Job Creation is his personal Bogeyman.

“We are pushing for bold action to stimulate job creation for young people, even unorthodox measures that you don’t necessarily consider in normal times, like some subsidies for hiring at companies,” The OECD’s head of employment policy Stefano Scarpetta sees bold, irrational policy measures as the way forward.

“The G20 will be assessed by public opinion around the world on its capacity to deliver on the growth and jobs agenda,” ILO chief Guy Ryder and OECD head Ãngel Gurría passing the buck on Job Creation.

“The jury is in. The Government’s welfare reform has failed. We have a nearly a million young people out of work and nearly a million people locked out of work long term – half of those for two years or more.” Opposition MP Liam Byrne is left underwhelmed by the UK government’s record on Job Creation.

“Our welfare reform agenda is about making a fair and affordable system that incentivises work: giving people the support they need to get off benefits and into a job. Today’s figures are encouraging, with the number of people claiming Jobseeker’s Allowance down and the number of people in work increasing” The UK’s Minister for Employment Mark Hoban is overwhelmed by his government’s positive contribution to Job Creation.

“My visit comes at the request of the Greek Prime Minister” German Finance Minister Wolfgang Schaeuble receives a midnight economic booty call.

“The OECD report also highlights the high levels of youth unemployment and the increasing numbers of long-term unemployed in the UK as areas for concern” CIPD chief economist Mark Beatson on the revelatory contents of the latest OECD report. Where have they been?

“Scotland is outperforming the UK” – Scottish Government enterprise minister Fergus Ewing boasts that Scotland is outdoing itself.

“That doesn’t sound good!” A Google Spokesman on hearing that the Scottish island of Jura had disappeared from Google Maps. It doesn’t look so hot either buddy.

“We now know what these big predatory sharks can see, and what we have done is convert that science into a marketable technology,” Hamish Jolly lauds a wetsuit invisible to sharks. You test it out first mate!

“We are confident the 787 is safe and we stand behind its overall integrity.” A Boeing Representative, with feet firmly planted terra firma, trying his best to reassure the world of the Dreamliner’s safety. What’s that, it’s caught fire again?

“Their on-going decline tells us that all is not well in the British countryside. Future generations may not be lucky enough to see butterflies in the same numbers we will experience this summer,” David Attenborough laments the decline in numbers of British Butterflies. Put away those butterfly-nets people!

“Nobody will believe a word the Taliban say about the right of girls like Malala to go to school until they stop burning down schools and stop massacring pupils.” Ex British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, surprises everyone by saying something sensible.

“OK. Don’t get bored here without me. And most importantly – don’t dawdle, the frog won’t jump from the oil pipes itself.” Russian Opposition Leader Alexei Navalny reacts to receiving a 5 year prison sentence. Should we push the frog then?

“In recent years, the Roman coast has become fertile ground for criminal activities, the scene of bloody clashes between clans and criminal gangs” Rome’s Mayor Ignazio Marino causes a bit of a stir with his Lonely Planet entry.

“We are working on increasing the iron, zinc and provitamin A content. These are the nutrients most lacking not only in Brazil, but in the rest of Latin America and the world as well, the cause of what we call hidden hunger,” The aptly named food engineer  Marília Nutti on efforts to combat micronutrient deficiencies in the Latin American diet.

“This new tax regime, which I want to make the most generous for shale in the world, will contribute to that. I want Britain to be a leader of the shale gas revolution – because it has the potential to create thousands of jobs and keep energy bills low for millions of people.” George Osborne opens the door to the frackers!

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